Seat and Pole Hogs

We live in a society where seats on the T are so few and so coveted. Every day, we spend our weary commutes in constant search for the next place to rest our tired bones. So many people, so few seats. That's the bottom line. So why is it, then, that there still exists a breed of greedy people in Boston I have dubbed...The Seat and Pole Hogs.

Seat and Pole Hogs exist in the lowest rung of the ethical ladder. They are the people that exhibit more greed than Dick Cheney at an OPEC conference. They feed off the pain of others. They sip from the chalice of evil and savor every minute of it.

So what do these vile Seat and Pole Hogs do that would warrant my scorn?

First, I'll start with the Seat Hogs. They operate in a few different ways. One way is that they'll get on a T at the beginning of its route; for example: government center, lechmere, or conversely cleveland circle, boston college, etc. Basically they'll get on the T when it's empty, take one of the two seats at a "two-seater" and then put they're backpack/suitcase/shopping bag on the adjacent seat. Depending on far they're traveling on that line, they are barring other passengers from sitting down in that potentially empty seat. They're making a human being suffer just so they're H&M bag is comfy.

The second Seat Hog tactic occurs when the T is crowded. Everyone is standing up. A seat opens up, but then the person sitting next to the newly available seat immediately puts his belongings down to claim the empty seat. Same principle: does your backpack deserve the seat more than Grandpa O'Malley? I don't think so.

Observe figure A to the right: the green squares represent seats, the black dots represent normal, thoughtful passengers. The red dot is a Seat Hog! See, he has the gaul to put his nice little blue backpack next to him, preventing that nice young woman from getting a seat (Angry Standing Passenger).

The third way of Seat-Hogdom is slightly more subtle, more stealthy. Rather than putting a bag or possession in the adjacent seat, this person will spread his legs really wide apart so both of his knees encroach on the seats next to him. By doing this, any potential sitters feel awkward to sit down because they'd inevitably have to touch Mr. LegSpreader. Or, the person sitting will even be so bold to put one of their feet up on the adjacent seat and block it entirely! This isn't your buddy's rumpus room. You can't just "claim" seats by putting your poo-covered boot onto it.

There have been many times that my commute has been ruined by Seat Hogs. So what could be worse than the Seat Hog? The Pole Hog.

You usually witness the Pole Hog on those crowded early morning rushes on an inbound train. All the seats are taken. In fact, every inch of the train is taken. Those poor souls standing are forced to reach out for a pole like a 1920's New York newsboy reaching out at the bread-line for a scrap of sustenance. It's bad enough that you have to stand for 40 minutes straight on a crowded train at 8 in the morning. It's even worse when there's some douche who's hogging the entire pole.

The Pole Hog will often be some corporate clown who feels that he must read a newspaper on the ride to work. Since he'll need both hands free to read said paper, he'll lean his entire peacoat-adorned-back onto the whole length of the pole. By doing so, he blocks anyone else from grabbing it.

Why do people feel the need to prevent people from sitting next to them? Are people really that afraid of human contact? Are they that oblivious to how much it makes them look like an asshole?