T Drivers: Bitter or just misunderstood?

You're late. Really late. You could take a cab but after you look in your wallet you realize that there's less green than in the Sahara.

So, you throw on that pair of jeans thats been lying in the corner of the room for the past four days and run out the door.

There's a T in the distance. If you hurry, you may be able to catch it. Running as fast as you can, you manage to get to its rusted folding doors before it pulls away. At last, some luck! As you struggle to catch your breath, you knock on the door. The driver shoots you a furtive glance, only to look away before he/she can make eye contact you. Hmm. Maybe he didn't hear you. You knock again, louder than before. Again, the driver ignores the pleading raps on the door, takes another sip of his red bull, and scratches his groin.

After about a minute of you standing outside the door, which he could've easily opened, the T slowly drives off into the horizon. You, on the other hand, stand on the sidewalk shlepping your backpack around like a sad clown. That driver could have easily let you into his chariot, but instead he left you to the wolves and the cold unforgiving asphalt of Boston.

Why would he make the decision to do such a thing? Is it pure malice towards the passengers, or is it something deeper? Is there something so inherently depressing about being involved with the wretched MBTA that pushes its employees to melancholy?

My observations would point towards the latter.

So often I find myself riding aboard the T and hear the driver come on the loudspeaker: "Next stop, Kenmoah Squayah". Its not the accent that drives me mad, its the disdain with which he or she spits out the stops like it's chunks of rotten cheese. "Move into the train people. FOLKS! Move all the way back!" I hear these things every day. The MBTA drivers seem to be living lives of quiet desperation, and as statistics show they're all looking for a means of escape.

In a report published in July 2005, the MBTA Advisory Board (www.mbtaadvisoryboard.org) found a startling trend amongst the fine men and women of the T. The report found that absenteeism has been growing steadily for the past ten years. The report defines absenteeism as, "Absent for any reason, including paid sick leave, unpaid sick leave, industrial accident leave, and absence without leave, but not including scheduled vacation"(Regan, 1).

Year -------- Average days absent

1997 -------- 15.95
1998 -------- 15.24
1999 -------- 15.42
2000 -------- 16.47
2001 -------- 20.50
2002 -------- 21.44
2003 -------- 21.62

These statistics are certainly thought provoking, considering this statistic: "The Bus and Subway divisions comprise 69% of the workforce, yet make up 84% of all absences in 2004"(Regan, 3).

Not only do the numbers in the graph above show increased signs of absenteeism, the report also has this grim outlook for the present year: "Numbers for the first quarter of 2005 are not encouraging"(Regan, 4).

Although the MBTA concedes that they are not sure of what is causing the growing trend of MBTA absenteeism, they do offer this insight: "Lax attendance policy or inconsistent application and enforcement thereof, poor work ethic, undesirable or inflexible work shifts or days off, feelings of alienation/unimportance, low morale due to cancelled leave, lack of systematic attendance tracking and abuse of leave policies"(Regan, 5). I'm not making those words up, folks. They used the words "low morale" and "feelings of alienation/unimportance" themselves.

As a citizen of Boston, I feel as if the MBTA needs to take a more extensive look into psyche of the average T driver. Maybe this has been a problem that has been simmering for years; only now is it finally coming to a boil. And in the end, we all get burned.

Why? Because this increase in unexcused absenteeism is hurting that very same wallet of mine that can't afford money to take a cab. "Every day of absence...needs to be covered either by employing additional operators and technicians or paying employees overtime to work extra shifts, the high absenteeism levels translate into significant costs for the Authority"(Regan, 4).

Since the MBTA is a state run institution, it is pretty clear who has to foot the bill for all these "significant costs": us, the taxpayers. We're getting taxed up the wazoo for a couple of lazy T drivers who don't feel like sitting on their ass and accosting passengers. No wonder they call this state Taxachusetts. An independent consultant projected "Potential cost savings [for decreased absenteeism] to be $2.5 million in 2000, when absenteeism levels were lower than today. The current savings potential is likely to be higher"(Regan, 4).

More than $2.5 million? That's money that could be spent on buying new cars so I don't have to wait for an hour and a half in the rain. That's money that could be spent on making the underground stops look a little less like Dante's ninth circle of hell. In short, it's money that could be spent on many better things than paying overtime to other drivers.

Maybe that money could be spent on some psychological counseling for the T drivers. That way, next time I come sprinting up to the T I'll be greeted with an open door and a big smile.

The Justification for this Blog

Many people have said to me recently, "Isn't your anti-T blog a little...much?"

It forced me to consider my reasoning. Maybe the T isnt' so bad. I mean, it does provide a relatively inexpensive means of transportation when compared to the skyrocketing costs of gasoline.

But, after an experience that occurred yesterday, my dedication to this blog's message was reaffirmed.

It was a rainy afternoon; the kind of day where you'd much rather watch Talk Soup re-runs and eat frosting out of a can than set foot outdoors. I, however, had errands to run. I had to go downtown to the Hynes stop to pick up my check from work, cash that check in the Pru, and then I had to go down to the Boylston stop. It sounds like a pretty simple trip.

It wasn't.

I waited in the rain at Packard's Corner for an inbound train. Luckily, a train came right away! Hooray, the T finally came through for me when I needed it most. Spoke too soon. It was packed, shoulder-to-shoulder, filled to capacity. There was no way I could squeeze in. So, I continued to wait in the rain for another to come. 40 minutes later, one did. Let me repeat that last number: 40 minutes. I was angry, but relieved. But wait--that train was full too! Even more full than the previous train. Again, I waited in the rain.

20 minutes later, a T came that had room for my half-dead body. That brings my grand total waiting time to one hour. One hour for the T. A new record folks.

After an uneventful ride filled with high school kids yapping on their cell phones and pre-pubescent girls playing each other voice mails from their boyfriends on speaker phone, I arrived at Hynes and got my check. I proceeded to the Pru to go to Sovereign bank to cash said check.

After my bank business was complete, I went underground once more to catch an inbound train to Boylston. Let me remind you that the Prudential stop is on the E-line, which is quite possibly the worst of all lines. This time, the train took 30 minutes to arrive.

All in all, I spent 1.5 hours waiting for a the T to come. And people complain about the cost of gas....

Chivalry on the T

I grew up in a town not far from Boston. On occasion, my family would take trips into the city to visit the Aquarium, the MFA, or maybe even catch a Sox game. Needless to say, on these occasional outings we would utilize the T's marvelous services.

By the time high school was winding down, my friends and I would venture into Boston by ourselves. Of course we thought we were cool. At that point, we thought we had city life all figured out: the hip places to go (Newbury Street), where all the cool shops were (Newbury Street) and where all the hipster college kids hung out (Newbury Street). Basically, we only knew how to get to Newbury Street. But I digress.

Although we thought we had the city pretty well figured out, there was one area that we, or at least I, was still clueless about: T chivalry.

On one fateful evening, I was sitting down in a seat on the green line. Ah, it felt nice to rest my weary 17 year old legs. We pulled to a stop, and a new crowd of people walked into the train. Of course I thought nothing of it; why should I? I had a seat, and I wasn't going to stand until we got to Hynes.

Some scary guy, however, had a different idea.

"Aren't you gonna get up?!" He snapped. I looked around. Was he talking to me? Of course not. Just keep minding your business and looking down at your shoes. "ExCUSE me!!" The man repeated, more loudly than before. At this point I had to look up and see what was happening. Much to my dismay, my eyes raised up only to meet the furrowed brow of a disgruntled Bostonian with a gut the size of Michigan and pitstains to match.

He had his hand on the shoulder of a white-haired old woman. "I can't fuckin' believe this," he continued, "You ain't gonna get your lazy fuckin' ass up and give her a seat!? Fuckin' prick."

At this point, all eyes were on me. Every single person aboard, from tight-jeaned scenester to Ugg-adorned Eurotrash to sweater-clad college professor, were all staring at me with angry eyes. I stood sheepishly. The old woman sat down without a word. Meanwhile, the sweat-stained Sicilian who had originally accosted me kept his gaze firmly planted on my eyes.

"Learn some fuckin' manners," he blurted. He scoffed and turned away from me. Things went back to normal, but my life was changed forever.

This incident brings me to the point of this post: Where do we draw the line on T chivalry? Is there some kind of age cutoff for whom to allow into our much-coveted seat? Is there a certain quota of gray hairs or deep wrinkles that an individual must meet in order for a younger person to say, "Excuse me. Would you like to sit down?"

I have pondered this question many times over my years here, and have still not come to a conclusive answer. On the one hand, you want to be polite to an older person. Their legs may be tired and their bones may be weak. On the other hand, you don't want to offend an older person who still has the chutzpah to think that they're still virile young stallions. If you offer a 40-year-old man your seat just because he has a few gray hairs on his temple, it is quite possible that he may be offended.

In the end, I guess it comes down to your best instincts. As with everything else in life, the only way to learn is through experience. Just hope your experience isn't as bad as mine was.

The Cab Conspiracy

It's 12:15am. You're at a party, a movie, a concert - whatever. The fact is, you're out on the town having a fantastic night. Nothing could come between you and having an amazing experience that you'll never forget.

Well, maybe the T could.

As we all know, the MBTA made the decision at some point to end T service at 12:30am. 12:30. The exact time that you're night should be going into full-swing, the T grinds you to a screeching halt. You must abideth by the rule of the T, for if you miss that last train at Government Center, you're going to be spending $40 in cab fare to get your ass back to your Allston or Brookline pad.

$40 bucks ain't nothin' to laugh at. That's a few good meals. That's a night at the bars. That's two DVD's. Forty dollars can go a long way if you want it to, but because the T doesn't run all night, you have to burn two jacksons just to move your body from one point to another. In a total of 14 minutes, you've lost all the money in your wallet.

Now, New York City doesn't have this problem. They got it right. Run the subway all night and you'll reduce the risks of a great number of problems.

One, you avoid the extreme risk of forcing commuters to drive home drunk. If there's no public transportation past 12:30am, and you're at the bars at 2am, how are you going to get home? Drive your car, or take a cab for big bucks. For most people (if you have a car) the answer would seem obvious. This elevates the possibility for drunk driving accidents.

Two. Without public transportation late at night, many people would rather just walk home than take that cab. For males, this is fine. For females, however, walking home to the bowls of Allston at 3am alone doesn't sound like a very safe option. The risks of rape or mugging are not great, but still out there. Rather than take those risks, it would seem like the only option for a young woman would be to take a cab.

What confuses me is the fact that Boston set "last call" for bars to be 2am - a full hour and a half after the T stops running. Why? Why not coincide the end of the T with the last call for bars. That way, every drunk John and Jane Q. Public can get their intoxicated bodies back safely to their apartments without the temptation to drive drunk or walk. It seems like common sense to me that the city would want to ensure the safety of all the alcohol-guzzling college students who pour so much money into this fine city's treasury.

Why? I'll tell you why: The Cab Conspiracy.

It is my theory that the various taxi companies in the city of Boston - MetroCab, TownTaxi, etc - have worked out a deal with the city of Boston vis a vis the MBTA. This diabolical scheme is that the cabs will service prominent city officials for free in exchange for the stoppage of public transportation before the bars close. By doing so, the cabs are ensured millions of dollars in fares from the citizens of Boston. Its a monopoly on the people. Its a total control of the market. Taxis in Boston are to late-night transportation as Microsoft is to computers. We have no choice but to ride in their smoke-stinking, upholstery-peeling jalopies.

Why else would the city stop train service at 12:30? Its not like they're trying to alleviate the burden on T drivers. If they offered service from 1am to 5am, someone out there would be willing to work it.

Is The Cab Conspiracy real? Does it truly exist? That's for you to decide. But meanwhile, watch your back: the MBTA might be coming after you next...

(Note: I am not crazy)

Unnecessary Stops

Why does everyone complain that the B line is the slowest of all the green line branches? Why is it that it takes 40 minutes to travel 8 stops? After all, it isn't as if the B line trains are slower than any of the rest.

Maybe it's because the B line has a stop every friggin' five feet. Well, I exaggerate, its plenty more feet than five. But still, there is a noted difference between a trip on the B line and a trip on the C line. The C line has comfortable distances between stops. They are close enought to give convenience to the residents of the C line, but distant enough to give the T some breathing room. There's room to actually accelerate the speed of the train to a speed of more than 6 miles per hour. The B line stops are so close, that the train never gets a chance to reach its full potential. It speeds up, but then by the time its going at a decent clip, its time to stop again.

Also, the B train has to contend with traffic lights as well as frequent stops. This is perhaps the most frustrating aspect of riding on the B train. In between every single stop, there is usually a traffic light impeding the train's movement. If you're lucky enough to catch a green light and proceed to the next stop without interruption, a quaint smile of satisfaction is bound to spread across your face. This is especially true when going from the Babcock St. stop to the Packard's Corner stop. Since there is an intersection of about 5 busy roads between these stops, the T must wait in line with every other car for its light to change. Sometimes this can take upwards of 7 minutes. Yes, seven. Not six.

Four stops were closed temporarily for 6-8 months starting on April 20, 2005 as part of a stop elimination pilot program to speed up service; these were all close to other stops. Almost 73% of the 1142 riders surveyed wanted those four stops gone.

Indeed, we all want many of the stops gone. Of course, this is hard to say considering the fact that if the MBTA were to ever take away my particular stop, I'd be pissed.

T = Smoking?

(Note: this post only applies to those Bostonians who reside on any above-ground T stop on the B, C, D, or E line.)

If you must commute from one part of Boston to another, you ride the T at some point in your day. Unless your more wealthy than a Halliburton shareholder, chances are you'll be swiping your T-Pass like every other junkie, yuppie, and college student that manages to find its way to the Green Line's gilded doors.

On any given day, you'll find yourself waiting for a train. Whether its a means to get to work, to class, to a party, to a game of frisbee on the common, or to a shopping trip on Newbury Street, you'll be waiting for that rusty, electric-powered bus we call a train to barrel down the tracks.

And when I say waiting, I mean waiting. This is the type of waiting you haven't seen since that last trip to Disney World when you tried to get on Space Mountain on a Friday afternoon. This is a Sisyphisian effort. You'll stroll out to the T at 9:30 in order to get to work at 10. Plenty of time, right? Wrong. The T will come at 10, and maybe get you to your destination by 10:45.

In order to compensate for this long waiting time, you decide to make your way to your local T stop at 9 instead of 9:30. That morning, you arrive at 9 but what do you know? The T comes strolling down right away. More excitingly, it gets you to your destination in 15 minutes! But wait, now you're 45 minutes early to work with nothing to do but waste a buck fitty on a cup of iced coffee at dunks.

The T seems to enjoy teasing its riders. Its almost like a 'fuck-you' to the passengers who, everyday, sit their asses on its seats, vandalize its walls, sneeze on its handlebars, and stick gum on its walls. But really, the T does tease. When you need it to come, it waits. When you have time to kill, it comes. When there's an emergency, it disappears. When you're waiting for a B, it'll change its destination to Riverside. It works in whatever way that it needs to make your life as inconvenient as possible.

That being said, I came to this conclusion one morning as I rode on a shoulder-to-shoulder train on my way to a class that I was already 20 minutes late for. If you smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, you'll probably shave ten years off your life. (Note: I have no scientific claim to know whether this is true or not, but for the sake of this rant, just bear with me)If you added up every second, every minute, and every hour that you spent your life, no, wasted your life waiting for the T, it would probably equal the same amount of time that you would lose from smoking a pack a day. Waiting for the T, unlike smoking, shaves time off your life from the inside-out, rather than just chopping it off at the end. The T steals precious minutes from you. These minutes add up to hours. These hours add up to days.

But, I will conclude this post as I will conclude every post on this blog: there's not a damn thing we can do about it.